Ode to my Oldest Friend

I had a little housewarming party a few weeks ago, just family and a few friends. We had a really nice evening, good drinks, good conversation, and Erin made some spectacular food. One of the best things about the party though had nothing to do with the events of the evening, but with the confluence of friends.

Occasionally I find myself a little nervous at the idea of having two of my friends meet one another for the first time. I wonder "will my drinking buddy work friend like my intellectually uninhibited school friend?" And I find that usually the answer is "no." A few years back I decided it was about damn time that two of my dearest friends met one another. I embarked on this journey with extreme trepidation remembering all the boyfriends either or both of them had hated (and unceremoniously chased away).

The day Ally met Erin was beyond perfect. It was as if all these years my relationship with each of them had been missing the other. I suddenly realized what unbelievable luck I had to not only have to magical best friends, but that they were now friends... wow.

I say Ally is my oldest friend in this world, and this is true only because Erin was such a whiny baby when we were kids, that I refused to play with her until we were adolescents (she's way cooler now, and has ditched the Barbies). Ally, on the other hand, I knew to be the epitome of coolness from the day we sat next to one another in art class. She was aloof, insightful, witty and intelligent... oh man, did I want to be her.

Looking back on this day, more than 10 years later (which is hard to even type, let alone believe), I remember how much I idolized Ally for her bold, unapologetic self. I'd never seen someone so confident. It was as if once she formed her belief, she was taking down anyone who dared challenge it... She was truly masterful. Ally was my fashion, attitude, and music hero.

I no longer wish I were Ally the way I did then - and this is not because she has in any way become less perfect and amazing. Rather, I have realized that Ally is perfect and amazing, and that if I were perfect and amazing in all the same ways, our friendship would have fizzled out years ago. I love the crazy, wild, offensive things she says because I would never have the nerve to say them myself. I see now that if I'd succeeded in making myself like her, we never would have been the power-bitch duo that terrorized 6th graders and French teachers alike.

The best part about Ally is that she is relentlessly prying me from my shell (and usually shouting "no one likes a p*ssy!" while she's at it). At the housewarming party, Ally was the first to notice cars pulling up to my neighbor's house. She was immediately intrigued, and insisted we were going to go crash and meet my neighbor - something Cautious Kate would never dream of doing. After pulling on my sleeve for 2 hours, she gave up on me, grabbed a drink and walked straight over to the other party and started introducing herself as their new neighbor, meeting every stranger with her trademark cool smile that says "I don't care one way or the other if you like me, but hand me a beer, wouldya?" After ingratiating herself to my neighbor, she returned to my house to deliver her report. Within minutes, she had chased Erin and I upstairs and we were changing our clothes, re-applying make up and donning higher heels and tighter jeans.

Where does a tiny woman like her get bravery like that?